Seeing God in the spaghetti

It's been a good weekend.  We didn't really do much, but the weather has been really nice, although at the moment it's storming and hailing.  But the weekend has been nice.  We went to church Saturday night, and Ian wasn't in the mood.  So wrestling with him was fun, but not too bad.  Our priest had an interesting message - we should be sharing more about how God has worked in our lives.  But he specifically said that we didn't have to ring doorbells or shout it in the streets - it could be as simple as acknowledging God in our own houses.  So I thought a lot about that.  I privately acknowledge God all the time, but I rarely talk about it.  I guess I consider religion private.  But I thought I'd write a post about it, so fair warning - religious discussion to follow - don't read if that kind of thing pisses you off.

Really, if you don't want to read, it's ok.

I've always, from the time I could remember, believed in God.  I've always believed that everything, good or bad, happens for a reason.  But here is absolute proof that God exists in my world.

I can't even begin to describe how strongly I feel that Ian was sent from God to be our child.  We were told by 2 different docs years ago that I would probably never get pregnant without using fertility drugs.  That led to a lot of discussion because we didn't want to risk a multiple pregnancy with my diabetes.  We looked into adoption, twice.  We finally felt like we'd give it the old college try without drugs, actually while we were taking adoption classes here.  And I got pregnant with Ian pretty quickly.  Again, I think it was meant to be.  I had a great pregnancy.  Good diabetes control, Ian was as healthy as a horse, and I went to a LOT of doctors appointments, but I considered that a bonus - I'm friends with people (my OB and her nurses) now and wouldn't have gotten to know as well had I not had to go as often.  I got to see him every week, sometimes twice a week with ultrasounds toward the end.  Who else gets to do that??  I had a retinal hemorrhage in my left eye when I was 10 weeks pregnant with him.  I couldn't see out of that eye for about 3 months.  Going blind is seriously one of my biggest fears in life, but I felt this overwhelming sense of peace and calm and the feeling that everything would be ok when it happened.  Again - God.  I met my fantastic retinologist and now I have check-ups with him regularly, which will really keep me on top of the retinopathy earlier in life than I probably would have been.  How awesome is it that God puts the right people in our path?  Ian is happy and completely healthy, and is a truly great child - he sleeps through the night (I know, be jealous) and has the sunniest disposition.  I know that he's so healthy because of my hard work during my pregnancy, but I also know that I didn't get the strength to work that hard from anywhere but God.

So, probably one of the only religious posts that you'll ever read here, but church just got me thinking.  I've also thought about agnosticism lately.  I don't understand it.  If you're not sure that there is a God, why not just go ahead and believe?  If you're wrong, you've had a life believing in someone bigger than yourself, of believing in an afterlife, and a life of believing that you were created with a purpose.  If you're wrong, then, well, you get a big dirt nap at the end, but you still had a pretty nice life.  I do realize that my POV does come from a life as a believer, and I really do believe to each his own, especially when it comes to religion.  Again, just my random thoughts tonight.

The pics, BTW, were taken tonight when Ian fed himself spaghetti for the first time.  So funny! Well, time to prepare for tomorrow.