It is October 6th as I write this post (and October 10th as I finish it!). Part of why I've been remiss about blogging is that I was at a loss about what to say. But apparently, right now I'm chock full of ideas, so I thought I'd share.
It's almost midterm. I am starting to enter the realm of losing my grip on my sanity. It's that point where, despite my best effots and intentions at the beginning of the semester, I'm working later, more weekends, and ditching exercise in favor of more work. Or more sleep. Or 10 minutes on the couch. To put it in perspective though, I'm losing my grip a lot later than I did last year. I think I startted last fall with NO grip. So taking 8 weeks to lose my zen isn't too bad.
But, I don't want to lose my zen. And that's when decided that I was going to take on a project of sorts for the rest of the semester. You can join me too, if you want. I'm going to simplify my life. This is a big undertaking for me. I'm not simple. I like tech toys, I love email, I love facebook, I love condiments, I love STUFF. But I'm going to try. Now, I have had periods where I do a massive closet clean. I've given every pair of shoes to Goodwill that I haven't worn in a while before. I've gotten rid of this and that, particularly with clothes. Guess what? Almost every time, it's come back to bite me. My MIL loves this kind of stuff. She's forever cleaning her FB friends list, advising people to get rid of things, and advocating cleaning out closets. So while her advice regarding decluttering normally would fall right in line, I just can't do it. I gave away a pair of knee-high boots that I hadn't worn in forever. Some time later, I bought a cute knee length dress to wear to a Christmas party that everyone agreed would look great with boots. I realized the night of the party that I didn't actually own knee boots any more. Oops. I discovered this week that I wanted to give my maternity sweaters to my SIL. Except that in a fit of closet cleaning, I gave them to Goodwill, sure that no one would ever need them, especially me. So, I'm not sure that getting rid of stuff entirely will happen, but we'll see. After all, you never know when you might need a maternity sweater or a great pair of boots.
So, if I'm going to tackle this, let's start with #1 on the list - eat simple. This week has been the WORST nutritionally speaking, since grad school, my written comps, and Kevin's and my afternoon of scientific doughnuts. I hosted a dinner for our seminar speaker last night. Monday night I got home around midnight. I had to work Tuesday and Wednesday, so every second I wasn't at work, I was cooking like a demon and cleaning my house (the dinner was great, BTW). Yesterday, I literally forgot to eat breakfast (I NEVER forget to eat!!), then because I needed my lunch hour to finish cleaning, I ate a cheese stick and a packet of Emerald Breakfast to Go, or as I told a friend "pea gravel." I guess that's simple, but I'm pretty sure that's not what the author of that post had in mind. Oh yeah, dinner the night before was simple too - Ian refused to eat what I fixed him and we wound up sampling cookie dough, some cream cheese frosting, and a homemade roll. Again, simple, but not good.
So, my take on simple is that I'm going to try to serve fewer courses during meals. A lot of side dishes have enough protein without adding another protein (like mac and cheese if you make it with cottage cheese instead of butter) or veggies can have lentils or beans added for protein without having a whole separate dish. Like I said, this is my take. A lot of people would view simple eating as eating without a lot of condiments and sauces, but honestly, I view food as a substrate for condiments. I LOVE spices. So, I'm simplifying my meals to have fewer components, but those components won't necessarily be simpler in flavor - see what I mean by simply complicated?
My hope is that every few days or at least once a week, I'll give you an update on what I'm up to with this project. I'm sure some things on the list will be easier than others. I have made progress on one thing already - I'm going to bike simple. I took off my clipless pedals and took my mom's advice. She told me that I wasn't coordinated enough for them. She's probably right - moms simply are most of the time.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Sunday, October 6, 2013
The Great Outdoors, by the Queen of the Indoors
The semester is well underway, and blogging has become harder. Mostly because I am completely brain dead by the time I sit down to try and write something. Oh well, it happens. We have done some fun things lately, camping probably being the most fun.
I had never been camping prior to last April. My family wasn't really into the great outdoors. My parents tried to burn some trash one time and burnt down a 6 acre pasture and part of the neighbors yards, so I also have an aversion to purposely starting fires. Besides, in Florida, there are two main weather conditions - hot and muggy, and slightly less hot but still muggy. And there are bugs - tons of them. So growing up, I wasn't too sorry that we didn't camp. We had some really great family vacations involving hotels, and that was just fine with me, but in kansas, the weather is much more suited to getting outside. There is, by and large, much less humidity, and there are an amazing number of state parks, with a surprising amount of water for a land-locked state. Our first trip was to Fredonia. W didn't bring enough firewood or enough charcoal, we didn't bring enough blankets to sleep in 50 degree weather comfortably, and it was so windy that I thought the tent would blow over, but I loved it. Ian loved it too, proclaiming, "My sleep good in a tent!" the next morning. We cooked hotdogs for dinner that night, and even though it was really chilly the next morning, we made eggs and bacon over the fire for breakfast. It was peaceful out there, and so relaxing to sit in front of the fire, staring at the moonlit lake that night while Ian slept in the tent.
A couple of weekends ago, we went to Tuttle Creek. It's actually an enormous lake in Manhattan (Kansas, not New York). This time we had sleeping bags, tons of charcoal, and plenty of firewood. We also brought Ian's fishing pole, his bike, and his football. Thank God we only have one kid - if we had two someone would've had to ride on top of the car. It was a great day and great evening. We are getting better at fire building and outdoor cooking. And again, the relaxed feeling from sitting around the fire lasted all week. I can't wait to go again.
My brother and sister bought me a sleeping bag for my birthday. My birthday is in May, and I thought that we'd go camping to celebrate it, but it was 30 degrees that weekend. So I just got to use it on this trip. Being a camping newbie, I picked out the bag partly based on color. I mean, priorities people - it is a pretty bag! It was a mummy bag, and I thought that since I froze the last time, this would be perfect. And it would have been, except I panic if my head is surrounded, don't like my arms trapped, and sleep on my side. So you know, I figured out quickly that I am not a mummy bag person, even if is a pretty one. I'm going to let Ian use it - I am not 4ft tall nor do I weight 100lbs, which are the approximate size suggestions for it. I'm going to get the same type of bag, only rectangular though - it kept me very warm and comfy. So, the queen of the indoors loves camping - who knew? I still don't like bugs, ticks, spiders, snakes, and being too hot, but a game of football with my guys (Ian always wins) beside a lake with a fire afterwards is pretty amazing.
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Yoga - deep thoughts while being a pretzel
After I got the all-clear for exercise last January, I decided that I was going to pursue healthy living on a whole other level. A cancer scare will do that to you. I started exercising again. Not that I never exercised before, it's just that, like most of us, it was the first thing to go when the going got too busy. I have a job, a husband, and a child. I will take spending more time with the husband and the child over running around the block any day, so if I couldn't fit in the workouts during my lunch time or during nap time on the weekend, I didn't do it. And when the semester picked up steam, lunchtime swims became a thing of the past.
So, in January, like an alcoholic finding sobriety again after falling off the wagon, I started exercising again. I told the wonderful student trainer, Taylor, that I worked with that I wanted to lose weight and be able to run a 5k. I guess I thought that if I told someone who is a runner that I wanted to run a 5k, that I'd just magically be able to do that. So Taylor put together a plan and we got together twice a week. She was really creative, and the sessions involved tons of cardio. I realized about halfway through that I. HATE. RUNNING. Like, I'll do it if someone was chasing me with a taser. I am the friend you want to be with in the woods if a bear attacked us because I'm so slow and would definitely get eaten while you run to safety. I sound like an 80 year old with emphysema.
So I switched gears and had read about a neat fitness goal of completing an ironman or half-ironman, but taking a month to do it. Taylor was on board, and we came up with a plan. And then I ran out of time - literally. If your running is at best a 15 minute mile and you're supposed to run 4 miles in 1 workout and then do biking and some strength, there's no way you can do that in a reasonable amount of time. So there went that idea. I got new bike gear for my birthday - clipless pedals and the shoes that went with them. The first ride I had, I fell and hit my arm so badly that I couldn't move it more than 10 degrees and my arm was so swollen that even the x-rays weren't clear. It took 3 weeks before I had full range of motion. I had 2 successful rides, then wiped out and screwed up my knee so badly that my kneecap was pushed out of place from all the swelling. Even my mother said "honey, you're not coordinated enough to ride a bike." Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mom. Did I mention that she and Dad came home from my first dance recital and asked if I wanted to take piano lessons? Let's just say that I play the piano beautifully now and cannot do a grande jete. This summer I was a single mom in the evenings because the hubs had to work second shift. So after working a full day at school and then coming home to an energetic toddler, exercise wasn't my main priority.
There was an ugly side to my exercise odyssey too. I would get incredibly stressed out if I missed a workout. I worked out when I went to my friend Kelli's wedding. Doing crap I didn't even enjoy doing in a hot, sweaty, tiny hotel gym, just to get a workout in. Mentally, this obsession wasn't doing me any good.
So at the end of the summer, a few weeks before Jamaica, I took a good look at the fall. It's busy, to say the least. I wanted an activity that would help me stress less, not more, and that I could do at night after Ian went to bed, in the privacy of my own house, rain or shine. I also realized that my joints were so stiff and my muscles so tight that I looked and felt like a geriatric. Yoga it is. I'd taken yoga classes before that were challenging mainly because they were painful. If you're stiff, it hurts to sit cross-legged. Or to attempt a backbend. I found My Yoga Online and it's amazing. If you want to try it, email me. If I (or any other member) refers you, you get 2 weeks free. It's yoga on demand. There are hundreds of classes, and you can sort by style, teacher, time, level, etc. David Magone is probably my favorite and I had never wound up in a hot, sweaty, breathing-hard mess from yoga before his classes. I mean, yoga is exercise, really? My first thought was "is this enough? Shouldn't I also be running, biking, swimming, etc?" Then I thought "exactly how many people who do a lot of yoga do you know that are out of shape?" The teachers at the local yoga studio in Emporia are in amazing shape. (BTW, the classes at that studio are wonderful, but don't fit my schedule.) So now I have an activity that I try to do 4 or 5 times a week. I pick different classes depending on how sore I am. More importantly to me, I pick classes on what I want to get from the class. Do I want to work on flexibility? Strength? Cardio? Mental stuff? Do I have a lot of energy? Is my back killing me? I do it after Ian goes to bed.
So, if you've stuck with me so far, I'll explain the title of this post. David Magone (and a lot of the teachers) give you something to think about either at the beginning or the end of a session. I was a hot mess after one of his classes, and the meditation for the day was about focusing more on your inward identity than your outward identity, because things that form your outward identity can change, creating a real identity crisis, but the stuff on the inside, who you really are, is the same no matter what. I identify myself SO MUCH by outward stuff. I am a professor. I'm a wife. Now I'm a mom. I'm going to try this week to work on my inward identity - I am an optimist. I try to be kind (I need to work harder on this). I want to be less judgmental. I want to be more patient. If I keep working on these things, it can only enhance the outward things. And maybe it will make attempting a headstand easier. :) Namaste.
So, in January, like an alcoholic finding sobriety again after falling off the wagon, I started exercising again. I told the wonderful student trainer, Taylor, that I worked with that I wanted to lose weight and be able to run a 5k. I guess I thought that if I told someone who is a runner that I wanted to run a 5k, that I'd just magically be able to do that. So Taylor put together a plan and we got together twice a week. She was really creative, and the sessions involved tons of cardio. I realized about halfway through that I. HATE. RUNNING. Like, I'll do it if someone was chasing me with a taser. I am the friend you want to be with in the woods if a bear attacked us because I'm so slow and would definitely get eaten while you run to safety. I sound like an 80 year old with emphysema.
So I switched gears and had read about a neat fitness goal of completing an ironman or half-ironman, but taking a month to do it. Taylor was on board, and we came up with a plan. And then I ran out of time - literally. If your running is at best a 15 minute mile and you're supposed to run 4 miles in 1 workout and then do biking and some strength, there's no way you can do that in a reasonable amount of time. So there went that idea. I got new bike gear for my birthday - clipless pedals and the shoes that went with them. The first ride I had, I fell and hit my arm so badly that I couldn't move it more than 10 degrees and my arm was so swollen that even the x-rays weren't clear. It took 3 weeks before I had full range of motion. I had 2 successful rides, then wiped out and screwed up my knee so badly that my kneecap was pushed out of place from all the swelling. Even my mother said "honey, you're not coordinated enough to ride a bike." Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mom. Did I mention that she and Dad came home from my first dance recital and asked if I wanted to take piano lessons? Let's just say that I play the piano beautifully now and cannot do a grande jete. This summer I was a single mom in the evenings because the hubs had to work second shift. So after working a full day at school and then coming home to an energetic toddler, exercise wasn't my main priority.
There was an ugly side to my exercise odyssey too. I would get incredibly stressed out if I missed a workout. I worked out when I went to my friend Kelli's wedding. Doing crap I didn't even enjoy doing in a hot, sweaty, tiny hotel gym, just to get a workout in. Mentally, this obsession wasn't doing me any good.
So at the end of the summer, a few weeks before Jamaica, I took a good look at the fall. It's busy, to say the least. I wanted an activity that would help me stress less, not more, and that I could do at night after Ian went to bed, in the privacy of my own house, rain or shine. I also realized that my joints were so stiff and my muscles so tight that I looked and felt like a geriatric. Yoga it is. I'd taken yoga classes before that were challenging mainly because they were painful. If you're stiff, it hurts to sit cross-legged. Or to attempt a backbend. I found My Yoga Online and it's amazing. If you want to try it, email me. If I (or any other member) refers you, you get 2 weeks free. It's yoga on demand. There are hundreds of classes, and you can sort by style, teacher, time, level, etc. David Magone is probably my favorite and I had never wound up in a hot, sweaty, breathing-hard mess from yoga before his classes. I mean, yoga is exercise, really? My first thought was "is this enough? Shouldn't I also be running, biking, swimming, etc?" Then I thought "exactly how many people who do a lot of yoga do you know that are out of shape?" The teachers at the local yoga studio in Emporia are in amazing shape. (BTW, the classes at that studio are wonderful, but don't fit my schedule.) So now I have an activity that I try to do 4 or 5 times a week. I pick different classes depending on how sore I am. More importantly to me, I pick classes on what I want to get from the class. Do I want to work on flexibility? Strength? Cardio? Mental stuff? Do I have a lot of energy? Is my back killing me? I do it after Ian goes to bed.
So, if you've stuck with me so far, I'll explain the title of this post. David Magone (and a lot of the teachers) give you something to think about either at the beginning or the end of a session. I was a hot mess after one of his classes, and the meditation for the day was about focusing more on your inward identity than your outward identity, because things that form your outward identity can change, creating a real identity crisis, but the stuff on the inside, who you really are, is the same no matter what. I identify myself SO MUCH by outward stuff. I am a professor. I'm a wife. Now I'm a mom. I'm going to try this week to work on my inward identity - I am an optimist. I try to be kind (I need to work harder on this). I want to be less judgmental. I want to be more patient. If I keep working on these things, it can only enhance the outward things. And maybe it will make attempting a headstand easier. :) Namaste.
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Vegans, vegetarians, and omnivores - can't we all just get along?
The Atkins Diet. South Beach. Low fat. Low carb. Glycemic Index. Eating for your bloodtype. Diet is a four-letter word for sure. And last week, I saw an article posted by a friend - Why the Vegan Diet Sucks. I read the article and I agreed with some of it. Then, just for the sake of argument, I googled vegetarian support or something like that and found all the pro-veggie sites. I was shocked. Not because there aren't any, but because there's so much...passion is one word, militant craziness is another..out there.
The vegan-diet-sucks (VDS) article talks about how vegans are malnourished, that being vegan isn't any healthier than any other way of eating, etc. And that vegans use fear-mongering to convert people. Just as an aside, I'm not vegan. I love eggs and cheese and while I don't eat those foods in every meal, I do eat them daily and I don't think, from a diet perspective, that there's anything wrong with that. I also follow a vegetarian diet about 95-98% of the time, but I'm not perfect. Pigs are still dying in my name because I'm sorry, bacon is delicious. Anyway, on to addressing the article. Vegans are malnourished. Yes, it's hard to get certain vitamins - B12 for one - from an all plant diet. But how many of us are malnourished from the eating practices we currently have? A lot. Particularly if your diet, like my former one, was meat and starch heavy and veggie light. How many of us can say that we get every recommended serving of fruits and vegetables every day that we're supposed to have and get every nutrient and vitamin that we need in recommended amounts every day without use of a multivitamin? Some people, yes, but not the majority. So, pot, meet kettle. Vegans probably lack in some areas, but so do omnivores.
Veggie diets aren't healthier or better for you than any other diet. The article says that the health benefits can't be assigned to diet because eating this way encourages you to also skip processed foods and sugar and to start exercising. Oh the horror! I think that everyone, whether you give up meat or not, can exercise and give up processed foods. I have noticed, in my own life, that eating vegetarian has made me think outside the box and has forced me to make and try things that I normally wouldn't. I am BAD about getting stuck in food ruts. When I decided to try vegetarianism, I told myself that this was NOT going to mean that all I ate was pasta, potatoes, and cheese. That I would learn to eat and love beans, lentils, and vegetables outside of broccoli, peas, and corn. And it's working! I've made some pretty incredible dinners out of stuff that I NEVER thought I'd eat. So, in my own life, I'd say that it's made me a much healthier eater. Not a perfect one, but I have cut down my fast food consumption considerably (no options besides meatless salad and french fries) and we're eating more fruits and veggies than we ever have. Exercise is for another post. I'll also note two observations from my own experience - a meal based on whole grains and beans or lentils and veggies is FILLING. The other thing is that I can eat until I'm satisfied and I don't feel disgustingly full much more easily than I could when I was eating differently.
The fear-mongering. Ok, they have a point there. WHen I looked up pro-veggie sites, most of them were, um, enthusiastic about veganism. A lot that I found, thought vegetarians were too liberal. Almost all of it was animal-rights based. There's nothing wrong with loving animals. I can't afford to buy all my meat humanely raised, organic, with smiley chickens. So we bought regular chicken. We are lucky enough to be able to get beef from an actual farm, not Tyson, so that's a little better anyway. I was a little surprised that most of the sites weren't of the mindset that any reduction of animal consumption is good. To me, telling someone that reducing their meat consumption even if they aren't vegan is a step in the right direction for many reasons. But most of them definitely took the tone of "eat any animal and you're total scum." I think there's no need for that. If you want to convince people to do what you're doing, don't use fear tactics or the "you're a horrible person if you don't do X" argument.
So, bottom line? A diet used to mean a style of eating. Now we view them as these things we do to lose weight, and that's where the thinking needs to change. I didn't go veggie necessarily to lose weight. I actually started with it because of a summer class I taught, did more research and found out that a plant-based diet is better for your kidneys (animal protein is harder on them and you tend to eat way more protein than you actually need on an animal diet), and most of all, I just feel good. Also, I have eaten meat over the last couple of months occasionally. And meat just doesn't do that much for me. A good loaf of sourdough bread is very pleasurable. Meat just isn't for me - I realized I liked the condiments more than the flesh., so it's not a huge deal most of the time. For others, eating meat is pleasurable. So do what makes you happy in the healthiest way possible. Eat meat, don't eat meat, just don't bash the other side. Visualize whirled peas. :)
The vegan-diet-sucks (VDS) article talks about how vegans are malnourished, that being vegan isn't any healthier than any other way of eating, etc. And that vegans use fear-mongering to convert people. Just as an aside, I'm not vegan. I love eggs and cheese and while I don't eat those foods in every meal, I do eat them daily and I don't think, from a diet perspective, that there's anything wrong with that. I also follow a vegetarian diet about 95-98% of the time, but I'm not perfect. Pigs are still dying in my name because I'm sorry, bacon is delicious. Anyway, on to addressing the article. Vegans are malnourished. Yes, it's hard to get certain vitamins - B12 for one - from an all plant diet. But how many of us are malnourished from the eating practices we currently have? A lot. Particularly if your diet, like my former one, was meat and starch heavy and veggie light. How many of us can say that we get every recommended serving of fruits and vegetables every day that we're supposed to have and get every nutrient and vitamin that we need in recommended amounts every day without use of a multivitamin? Some people, yes, but not the majority. So, pot, meet kettle. Vegans probably lack in some areas, but so do omnivores.
Veggie diets aren't healthier or better for you than any other diet. The article says that the health benefits can't be assigned to diet because eating this way encourages you to also skip processed foods and sugar and to start exercising. Oh the horror! I think that everyone, whether you give up meat or not, can exercise and give up processed foods. I have noticed, in my own life, that eating vegetarian has made me think outside the box and has forced me to make and try things that I normally wouldn't. I am BAD about getting stuck in food ruts. When I decided to try vegetarianism, I told myself that this was NOT going to mean that all I ate was pasta, potatoes, and cheese. That I would learn to eat and love beans, lentils, and vegetables outside of broccoli, peas, and corn. And it's working! I've made some pretty incredible dinners out of stuff that I NEVER thought I'd eat. So, in my own life, I'd say that it's made me a much healthier eater. Not a perfect one, but I have cut down my fast food consumption considerably (no options besides meatless salad and french fries) and we're eating more fruits and veggies than we ever have. Exercise is for another post. I'll also note two observations from my own experience - a meal based on whole grains and beans or lentils and veggies is FILLING. The other thing is that I can eat until I'm satisfied and I don't feel disgustingly full much more easily than I could when I was eating differently.
The fear-mongering. Ok, they have a point there. WHen I looked up pro-veggie sites, most of them were, um, enthusiastic about veganism. A lot that I found, thought vegetarians were too liberal. Almost all of it was animal-rights based. There's nothing wrong with loving animals. I can't afford to buy all my meat humanely raised, organic, with smiley chickens. So we bought regular chicken. We are lucky enough to be able to get beef from an actual farm, not Tyson, so that's a little better anyway. I was a little surprised that most of the sites weren't of the mindset that any reduction of animal consumption is good. To me, telling someone that reducing their meat consumption even if they aren't vegan is a step in the right direction for many reasons. But most of them definitely took the tone of "eat any animal and you're total scum." I think there's no need for that. If you want to convince people to do what you're doing, don't use fear tactics or the "you're a horrible person if you don't do X" argument.
So, bottom line? A diet used to mean a style of eating. Now we view them as these things we do to lose weight, and that's where the thinking needs to change. I didn't go veggie necessarily to lose weight. I actually started with it because of a summer class I taught, did more research and found out that a plant-based diet is better for your kidneys (animal protein is harder on them and you tend to eat way more protein than you actually need on an animal diet), and most of all, I just feel good. Also, I have eaten meat over the last couple of months occasionally. And meat just doesn't do that much for me. A good loaf of sourdough bread is very pleasurable. Meat just isn't for me - I realized I liked the condiments more than the flesh., so it's not a huge deal most of the time. For others, eating meat is pleasurable. So do what makes you happy in the healthiest way possible. Eat meat, don't eat meat, just don't bash the other side. Visualize whirled peas. :)
Monday, August 26, 2013
Brain Dump
I couldn't really think of a good theme for this post, so I thought I'd just give you a brain dump - all the stuff that's been floating around my head lately. Here goes...
1) The attitude shift is working! Last year, I distinctly remember starting the semester by asking how long it would be until Christmas. I was so burnt out. I wasn't excited about anything, and I was tired before it started. This semester, I have the same load I usually carry in the fall, but I have tox (new), over 80 people in A&P (new at ESU), I go up for tenure (where have the last 5 years gone?), and I have the data for 4 papers, 2 that just need a little more work, 1 started, and 1 that hasn't started. That's a new problem to have too. But a good one. I give all the credit to my fabulous students. Without them, I would literally be not sitting on so much data. But, I'm excited! I know it's going to be a tiring semester, but so far so good. Yes, I realize that it's one week in. But really, I'm better than I was last year in terms of attitude.
2) My ribs feel good enough to start back with yoga! I'm so excited about this. I joined myyogaonline.com and it's fabulous. You can watch any video you want and filter by style, teacher, level, etc. Tonight, I did a "de-stress" class. Except then I realized that the instructor wanted me to do a half-backbend. My spine doesn't move like that, so I just watched her, which was less stressful than trying the move.
3) Big Mac died. RIP, Big Mac. You were a wonderful computer. We'll have to think carefully about your replacement. It was a great 8 years.
4) Water volleyball is really fun. It's also darn good exercise if you have a 32lb 3-year-old that wants to play too and makes you lift him over your head so he can throw the volleyball over the net.
5) I made ficken (fake chicken) salad today for lunch and it was delicious my grad students liked it! I used mashed chickpeas. Who knew you could eat those things in more than hummus?
Ok, enough brain dump. I'll be back with more rambling later in the week. You stay classy. :)
1) The attitude shift is working! Last year, I distinctly remember starting the semester by asking how long it would be until Christmas. I was so burnt out. I wasn't excited about anything, and I was tired before it started. This semester, I have the same load I usually carry in the fall, but I have tox (new), over 80 people in A&P (new at ESU), I go up for tenure (where have the last 5 years gone?), and I have the data for 4 papers, 2 that just need a little more work, 1 started, and 1 that hasn't started. That's a new problem to have too. But a good one. I give all the credit to my fabulous students. Without them, I would literally be not sitting on so much data. But, I'm excited! I know it's going to be a tiring semester, but so far so good. Yes, I realize that it's one week in. But really, I'm better than I was last year in terms of attitude.
2) My ribs feel good enough to start back with yoga! I'm so excited about this. I joined myyogaonline.com and it's fabulous. You can watch any video you want and filter by style, teacher, level, etc. Tonight, I did a "de-stress" class. Except then I realized that the instructor wanted me to do a half-backbend. My spine doesn't move like that, so I just watched her, which was less stressful than trying the move.
3) Big Mac died. RIP, Big Mac. You were a wonderful computer. We'll have to think carefully about your replacement. It was a great 8 years.
4) Water volleyball is really fun. It's also darn good exercise if you have a 32lb 3-year-old that wants to play too and makes you lift him over your head so he can throw the volleyball over the net.
5) I made ficken (fake chicken) salad today for lunch and it was delicious my grad students liked it! I used mashed chickpeas. Who knew you could eat those things in more than hummus?
Ok, enough brain dump. I'll be back with more rambling later in the week. You stay classy. :)
Thursday, August 15, 2013
All you need is (self) love...
"God, these portions are HUGE!"
"I shouldn't eat this."
"Well, I've been good all day, so I guess I can have this."
"There have got to be a million calories in this."
"Good thing I went to the gym today."
Any of these phrases sound familiar? All of these phrases sound familiar? I know I've said them before, and I've heard a lot of my friends say them too. But what if we never thought this way again? What if we were kinder to ourselves, and ate what we really wanted to eat without guilt? What if we exercised because it was an activity we loved, not one we felt obligated to do? What if we took a walk for the sake of taking a walk - not to see how many miles we could get in, or how fast we could go, but just to enjoy being outside? Would we all be a little less stressed?
As part of my "keep my sanity" way of thinking, I have started to practice these philosophies. I don't think I've ever felt freer. I'm not talking about sloth. I'm not talking about gluttony, or eating nothing but McDonald's, or eating until you're ready to puke. I've figured out that eating certain things make me feel good. I've started eating a mainly vegetarian diet. I say mainly because when I'm home, that's what makes me feel good, but if we're on vacation (I'll get to applying this philosophy in Jamaica in a minute) or at someone's house, I'm not going to be a pain in the butt. I don't have an allergy, I am choosing this. So, if my Mom made roast beef for Christmas dinner, I'm certainly going to dive in and I will not eat Christmas tofu. But when I'm home, doing my own cooking, it does mean that I'll make BBQ lentils (they really are good), rather than using boston butt. It makes me feel good. Having to think outside the usual meals has made me think harder about what's for dinner. Because a lot of recipes are based on pantry items, I can ask what I'm in the mood for that night, keeping in mind that Dave gets a vote too. Then when I'm eating, whether it's a healthy choice or a not-so-healthy choice, I don't over-analyze it. I don't measure portions, but I also eat until I'm satisfied, not until I'm stuffed. Besides, try a vegetarian diet for a few days and OD on lentils and veggies - your digestive system will let you know you overdid it! But I've noticed that I enjoy food more with this new way of thinking. I don't feel bad about my choices.
We went to Jamaica last week. It was our first time at an all-inclusive resort. It was amazing. We both love food, and we both view food as a part of the vacation experience. We ate 5 course meals almost every night. They took 2 hours. I tried foods that I never would normally eat. There were more than a couple of times that I did overeat, like, we had to go to the room to digest before we continued our strenuous day of laying on the beach. A few years ago, I would have worried about how to lose the weight when I got home. Heck, 3 months ago I would have worried about it. Now, though, when we got home, I was more than ready to get back to normal eating. We had our vacation. We enjoyed the hell out of it. But really, I did notice a difference. So I went back to more intuitive eating and I'm already feeling less sluggish. And my body will right itself eventually. No problem, mon. Side note - I didn't act like I didn't have diabetes. THat's a whole 'nother thing. I was still very vigilent about my bloodsugars, although I did ditch Bob for a week because, where DO you keep your non-waterproof insulin pump in Jamaica? I did shots and fingersticks - kickin' it old school.
Anyway, I came to this realization about 3 months ago. I spent 6 months working out with a trainer. Obsessing about how many workouts I got in per week. What was my mileage on the bike? My swims? How many reps? I did weight watchers. I measured everything. Keep in mind that I didn't think I looked all that bad to begin with, I just didn't like the number that showed up when I weighed myself. So guess what happened? I gained 5 pounds. And that's when it hit me. My numbers were fabulous in every other aspect of my health - A1c, kidney function, blood pressure, cholesterol. I was fit. But I was so upset over the 5 pounds. Then, I realized that I could eat well without measuring and without guilt and stress and workout doing something I actually wanted to do and I would look just as good doing something that made me happy. And every once in a while, if I went out with friends and didn't order the healthiest thing on the menu, I wasn't going to comment on how huge the portion was or how much I needed to work out - I would eat until I was satisfied and enjoy every bite. And I HATE running. So guess what? I don't run. The next time I get in a pool and I am bound and determined to enjoy myself instead of obsessing about my MPH, my lap times, and everything else that I used to obsess about.
Finally, I've accepted my body. I thought I was fat in high school. I thought I was fat in college. I did some extraordinarily STUPID things to lose a lot of weight for my wedding. I have refused to be in pictures because I didn't like the way I look. But when we were packing for Jamaica, I put on all my bathing suits, trying to decide which ones to pack. And I almost cried. Because I thought, genuinely, that I look good. I have had a belly my entire life. Now I have a bigger belly from having a kid. I have 6 scars on it from 2 surgeries. Oh well, I'm over it. I'm not perfect, but I realized that I'm not nearly as hideous as I'd spent the last 20 years thinking that I was.
So, this has been a rambling piece. If you've stayed with me this far, I guess my message is this. Love yourself. Love yourself enough to eat what is going to make you healthy and what will make you feel good and yes, what will give you pleasure. Part of the reason I'm not vegan is that I tried soy cheese. I love myself too much to eat soy cheese. It's nasty. Love yourself enough to exercise doing something that you love, not something that you feel like you should do for an amount of time that you feel that you should do it. And choose the path of happiness and optimism whenever possible. Because life's too short to be miserable. :) And when all else fails, there's wine. Lots and lots of wine.
"I shouldn't eat this."
"Well, I've been good all day, so I guess I can have this."
"There have got to be a million calories in this."
"Good thing I went to the gym today."
Any of these phrases sound familiar? All of these phrases sound familiar? I know I've said them before, and I've heard a lot of my friends say them too. But what if we never thought this way again? What if we were kinder to ourselves, and ate what we really wanted to eat without guilt? What if we exercised because it was an activity we loved, not one we felt obligated to do? What if we took a walk for the sake of taking a walk - not to see how many miles we could get in, or how fast we could go, but just to enjoy being outside? Would we all be a little less stressed?
As part of my "keep my sanity" way of thinking, I have started to practice these philosophies. I don't think I've ever felt freer. I'm not talking about sloth. I'm not talking about gluttony, or eating nothing but McDonald's, or eating until you're ready to puke. I've figured out that eating certain things make me feel good. I've started eating a mainly vegetarian diet. I say mainly because when I'm home, that's what makes me feel good, but if we're on vacation (I'll get to applying this philosophy in Jamaica in a minute) or at someone's house, I'm not going to be a pain in the butt. I don't have an allergy, I am choosing this. So, if my Mom made roast beef for Christmas dinner, I'm certainly going to dive in and I will not eat Christmas tofu. But when I'm home, doing my own cooking, it does mean that I'll make BBQ lentils (they really are good), rather than using boston butt. It makes me feel good. Having to think outside the usual meals has made me think harder about what's for dinner. Because a lot of recipes are based on pantry items, I can ask what I'm in the mood for that night, keeping in mind that Dave gets a vote too. Then when I'm eating, whether it's a healthy choice or a not-so-healthy choice, I don't over-analyze it. I don't measure portions, but I also eat until I'm satisfied, not until I'm stuffed. Besides, try a vegetarian diet for a few days and OD on lentils and veggies - your digestive system will let you know you overdid it! But I've noticed that I enjoy food more with this new way of thinking. I don't feel bad about my choices.
We went to Jamaica last week. It was our first time at an all-inclusive resort. It was amazing. We both love food, and we both view food as a part of the vacation experience. We ate 5 course meals almost every night. They took 2 hours. I tried foods that I never would normally eat. There were more than a couple of times that I did overeat, like, we had to go to the room to digest before we continued our strenuous day of laying on the beach. A few years ago, I would have worried about how to lose the weight when I got home. Heck, 3 months ago I would have worried about it. Now, though, when we got home, I was more than ready to get back to normal eating. We had our vacation. We enjoyed the hell out of it. But really, I did notice a difference. So I went back to more intuitive eating and I'm already feeling less sluggish. And my body will right itself eventually. No problem, mon. Side note - I didn't act like I didn't have diabetes. THat's a whole 'nother thing. I was still very vigilent about my bloodsugars, although I did ditch Bob for a week because, where DO you keep your non-waterproof insulin pump in Jamaica? I did shots and fingersticks - kickin' it old school.
Anyway, I came to this realization about 3 months ago. I spent 6 months working out with a trainer. Obsessing about how many workouts I got in per week. What was my mileage on the bike? My swims? How many reps? I did weight watchers. I measured everything. Keep in mind that I didn't think I looked all that bad to begin with, I just didn't like the number that showed up when I weighed myself. So guess what happened? I gained 5 pounds. And that's when it hit me. My numbers were fabulous in every other aspect of my health - A1c, kidney function, blood pressure, cholesterol. I was fit. But I was so upset over the 5 pounds. Then, I realized that I could eat well without measuring and without guilt and stress and workout doing something I actually wanted to do and I would look just as good doing something that made me happy. And every once in a while, if I went out with friends and didn't order the healthiest thing on the menu, I wasn't going to comment on how huge the portion was or how much I needed to work out - I would eat until I was satisfied and enjoy every bite. And I HATE running. So guess what? I don't run. The next time I get in a pool and I am bound and determined to enjoy myself instead of obsessing about my MPH, my lap times, and everything else that I used to obsess about.
Finally, I've accepted my body. I thought I was fat in high school. I thought I was fat in college. I did some extraordinarily STUPID things to lose a lot of weight for my wedding. I have refused to be in pictures because I didn't like the way I look. But when we were packing for Jamaica, I put on all my bathing suits, trying to decide which ones to pack. And I almost cried. Because I thought, genuinely, that I look good. I have had a belly my entire life. Now I have a bigger belly from having a kid. I have 6 scars on it from 2 surgeries. Oh well, I'm over it. I'm not perfect, but I realized that I'm not nearly as hideous as I'd spent the last 20 years thinking that I was.
So, this has been a rambling piece. If you've stayed with me this far, I guess my message is this. Love yourself. Love yourself enough to eat what is going to make you healthy and what will make you feel good and yes, what will give you pleasure. Part of the reason I'm not vegan is that I tried soy cheese. I love myself too much to eat soy cheese. It's nasty. Love yourself enough to exercise doing something that you love, not something that you feel like you should do for an amount of time that you feel that you should do it. And choose the path of happiness and optimism whenever possible. Because life's too short to be miserable. :) And when all else fails, there's wine. Lots and lots of wine.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
A little catching up
I can't believe it's been almost a year since my last blog post. There are reasons for that. First, last fall, about the time I fell off the blogging wagon, was when I had eye surgery. Then some really scary stuff happened that I wasn't sure I wanted to talk about. I have no idea who reads this blog. I have no idea why they do, if they do read it. I like to stay positive, and from October - December, trying to think positive became my other full time job, and I just wasn't ready to talk about it. Heck, I'm not sure I want to talk about it now, but now that I've got this great suspense built up, I might as well tell those that don't know - I spent 8 weeks wondering if I had ovarian cancer. I didn't, thank God. But going through an extremely busy semester wondering if a mystery mass that is the size of a grapefruit means that you have a cancer with a 10-15% survival rate is pure hell. Pure. Unadulterated. Hell. And it was hell on my closest friends and family that knew. So I wasn't ready to share that until now. But, we are all on the other side now, whole, happy, and healthy. Thank God.
So, spring was spent kinda taking it easy. Summer has flown by. Ian started pre-school! Pre-school! His first day was harder for me than him, that's for sure. His last day with Sarah was incredibly hard for me, surprisingly. He had been going to her since he was 6 weeks old! Her family had become an extended part of our family. Then I had to remind myself that it wasn't like they were moving. We live 1.5 miles away from each other. Play dates will happen! Fortunately, Ian LOVES school. I can't ask fro more than that. Dave is doing well. Life is good.
The highlight of our summer was a trip to Jamaica. It was our first vacation that didn't involve visiting family in 5 years. It was cathartic. That sounds stupid and melodramatic, but it was. I had been thinking about the fall semester, which is always nuts, only this time I have 86 people, not 70 in A&P and I'm teaching toxicology for the first time ever. Oh yeah, and I'm going up for tenure and this year I will probably switch my research model. So, you know, a few irons in the fire. And, like usual, I was worried about how to do all this and keep my sanity. But if last fall taught me anything, it's that life is way too short to spend all of it stressed out. Jamaica taught me that cocktail hour before dinner is a good idea. Even if there's no alcohol involved, taking a few minutes to relax before dinner and talk a little about the day is nice. Or don't talk. Just take a few minutes and unwind. This summer I started singing in Sacred Heart's gospel choir. It's a once a week committment that is all for me. It's fun. It's hilarious. It's not taking yourself so seriously. And no matter how busy this fall is, I will continue to go because it makes me happy.
So this semester, I am determined. I am determined that I will not pass up a fun opportunity to spend time with Dave and Ian in favor of getting just one more thing done at work, if I can help it. Even if there are things piling up, I will take care of me. I will eat well. I will sleep at night. I will keep a sense of humor. Lab meetings might be at the bar occasionally because the only time everyone was available was 4pm on Friday's. And that's 5:00 EST. I'm going to take a page from a prof at UA who always said "Work hard, play hard, sleep well." And I'm going to blog. Because it makes me happy too, even if I have no idea if anyone's reading. I guess that's like the "dance like no one's watching" thing - blog like no one's reading? Anyway, it's a new fall, a different way of thinking, and a lot to be thankful for.
So, spring was spent kinda taking it easy. Summer has flown by. Ian started pre-school! Pre-school! His first day was harder for me than him, that's for sure. His last day with Sarah was incredibly hard for me, surprisingly. He had been going to her since he was 6 weeks old! Her family had become an extended part of our family. Then I had to remind myself that it wasn't like they were moving. We live 1.5 miles away from each other. Play dates will happen! Fortunately, Ian LOVES school. I can't ask fro more than that. Dave is doing well. Life is good.
The highlight of our summer was a trip to Jamaica. It was our first vacation that didn't involve visiting family in 5 years. It was cathartic. That sounds stupid and melodramatic, but it was. I had been thinking about the fall semester, which is always nuts, only this time I have 86 people, not 70 in A&P and I'm teaching toxicology for the first time ever. Oh yeah, and I'm going up for tenure and this year I will probably switch my research model. So, you know, a few irons in the fire. And, like usual, I was worried about how to do all this and keep my sanity. But if last fall taught me anything, it's that life is way too short to spend all of it stressed out. Jamaica taught me that cocktail hour before dinner is a good idea. Even if there's no alcohol involved, taking a few minutes to relax before dinner and talk a little about the day is nice. Or don't talk. Just take a few minutes and unwind. This summer I started singing in Sacred Heart's gospel choir. It's a once a week committment that is all for me. It's fun. It's hilarious. It's not taking yourself so seriously. And no matter how busy this fall is, I will continue to go because it makes me happy.
So this semester, I am determined. I am determined that I will not pass up a fun opportunity to spend time with Dave and Ian in favor of getting just one more thing done at work, if I can help it. Even if there are things piling up, I will take care of me. I will eat well. I will sleep at night. I will keep a sense of humor. Lab meetings might be at the bar occasionally because the only time everyone was available was 4pm on Friday's. And that's 5:00 EST. I'm going to take a page from a prof at UA who always said "Work hard, play hard, sleep well." And I'm going to blog. Because it makes me happy too, even if I have no idea if anyone's reading. I guess that's like the "dance like no one's watching" thing - blog like no one's reading? Anyway, it's a new fall, a different way of thinking, and a lot to be thankful for.
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