I've always been the last one to jump on a trend. Food isn't any different. Last year, I started out the year cooking all of our food from scratch. That lasted until almost Thanksgiving, when I gave up the ghost and started making processed food. So, I'm no stranger to cooking from scratch, but even then, I didn't make a huge effort to avoid certain things. I figured that just the fact that things weren't coming out of a box was good enough. And on the one hand, it was, at least I think so.
So about 6 weeks ago, I decided to overhaul our eating habits. I wanted to start menu planning and cooking from scratch again, but this time it started because I started reading the website 100 Days of Real Food. Now, on that website, they are STRICT about it. All organic, no processed food, only eating in restaurants that follow this, if they do buy processed food it has less than 5 ingredients, and no fried food. I didn't think being that strict was doable for us, but I thought that we could incorporate some of the ideas. For the first time in my life, I am buying organic food if I can. Even meat, for the most part, is coming from an actual butcher that has a local farm. I'm trying to buy fewer processed things. We've almost completely stopped eating chips, and our frequency of eating out has greatly decreased.
One thing I love is that this idea isn't about giving up whole food groups at all. Gluten, dairy, fats, carbs, proteins, etc - all on the table, often in delicious combos. The thing we've cut way back on is preservatives. No diet food. No frankenfood approximations of real food. Fewer sodas (although I just can't totally quit Diet Coke, I have cut way down).
So, it's been 6 weeks - how's it going?
Pros
- The food is GOOD. Ok, there have been a few regrettable recipes. But that's all part of experimentation. Dave and I think our tastebuds have been reprogrammed a little, in a good way. McDonald's is still consumed if it just isn't practical to do anything else, but it doesn't taste nearly as good as it used to. A lot of packaged food - I bought a frozen dinner for lunch on Saturday - it wasn't nearly as good as it would have been 6 months ago.
- I'm not eliminating anything. I make it using minimally processed ingredients. Most of the time, the real food is more filling, so we eat less of it.
- If I do make something decadent, I make it decadent. If you're going to have chocolate pudding, I don't make the low fat sugar free stuff out of the box. I make a cooked, from scratch, use the dark chocolate version. And I eat 1/2 the amount I would have eaten from the boxed stuff because it's a lot richer.
Cons
- It's somewhat time-consuming. I cook for most of the day on Sunday. This makes all of our breakfasts and dinners for the week. I wouldn't have time to make almost everything from scratch any other way.
- It is more expensive, sorta. My grocery bill is higher. On the other hand, we waste FAR less food than we used to and we eat out less, so I think it balances out for the most part. Still, cost is a factor, so I'm not saying this is totally feasible for everyone.
So, this isn't meant to be preachy. We are far from perfect. There are a couple of things that I cannot make better than the processed version, so I don't try. One thing is salad dressing. I LOVE ranch dressing. I have started buying the kind that at least is found in the refrigerator section and has more real ingredients. I also don't want to take the time to make homemade chicken tenders in the quantity that we consume them. In fact, I did try to make a batch one time. It took a long time and in the end, Ian refused to eat them. So, all of our other chicken dishes are homemade, but not the breaded tenders. Oh well.
And that is what's been going on in the Bailey kitchen right now. Halloween was fabulous and Thanksgiving is coming. Temps are falling and my sanity is still intact! You guys, I've never had my sanity this far into the fall semester in recent memory!! Maybe I'll make some Pioneer Woman chocolate pudding to celebrate. :)
Monday, November 2, 2015
Friday, October 16, 2015
Mackinac Island
This is going up a little late, but I wanted to share my experience at Mackinac Island. I had never heard of the place prior to June. Growing up in Florida on the Gulf Coast, I didn't exactly research beach vacations in Michigan. But MAFS was there this year, so 10 students and I DROVE 18 hours each way. So yeah, that's 36 hours in a van to attend a conference for 48 hours. We won't discuss how awesome being trapped in a van for that long is. Suffice it to say, it's as awesome as you're imagining right now.
Anyway, Mackinac. There are no cars on the island. Ok, there are 5 motorized emergency vehicles. Seriously, that's it. You have to take a ferry over, and you leave your car, and the 21st century, on the mainland. Our luggage was taken to the hotel on a horse-drawn luggage cart attached to the "shuttle." Everyone on the island either bikes, walks, or takes a taxi of the horse-drawn kind. The houses on the waterfront look like life-sized versions of the houses you'd expect to see on Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. I expected Lady Elaine to come around the corner at any moment. There are tons and tons of flowers on the island - all planted seemingly for "tourist season." Now, in Florida, tourist season starts around spring break and continues until Labor Day, at least. The tourist season here is mid-late June until mid-August. The whole island is only inhabited year-round by about 500 people - everyone else leaves at the beginning of November and comes back in the middle of May. A lot of the laborers are from the islands - like Jamaica - and live on or near the properties they work on. I posted a lot of pics on Facebook, so look there if you want to see the island. But suffice it to say, it's a little unreal.
I spent a lot of time wondering what the hell the permanent residents do the rest of the year. There are many (and a somewhat surprising number of) restaurants, shops, bars, and inns on the island. Do they make all their money for the year and then hibernate? I have no idea. The idea is kind of appealing though - work like mad for about 5 months, relax for 7. Admittedly, the relaxation is probably under a lot of snow.
I actually liked it so much that I'm going to try to go back for my 40th birthday next year. Originally, I was thinking of a very different island - maybe Jamaica again, maybe St. Croix, maybe something entirely new, like St. Martin. The last time Dave and I went on vacation was to Jamaica. I tend to gravitate toward the islands I think because they feel so remote. I relax more because it doesn't feel like anything I do in real life. That and beautiful beaches and amazing cultures. I kinda thought that if we went somewhere in the States that it would feel too normal. But Mackinac is truly another world. I liked the resort I stayed at a lot - Mission Point Resort, but I did a little checking and I think we're going to shoot for the Grand Hotel. It's been in operation since 1887. It's actually all-inclusive, which is pretty cool, and it sounds like we'll be going back to the 1920's. Like, afternoon tea, 5-course dinners, bocce ball or croquet on the lawn, and dancing to a live orchestra every evening. I think it sounds pretty amazing. Guess I'm going to have to polish my dancing shoes...
Anyway, Mackinac. There are no cars on the island. Ok, there are 5 motorized emergency vehicles. Seriously, that's it. You have to take a ferry over, and you leave your car, and the 21st century, on the mainland. Our luggage was taken to the hotel on a horse-drawn luggage cart attached to the "shuttle." Everyone on the island either bikes, walks, or takes a taxi of the horse-drawn kind. The houses on the waterfront look like life-sized versions of the houses you'd expect to see on Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. I expected Lady Elaine to come around the corner at any moment. There are tons and tons of flowers on the island - all planted seemingly for "tourist season." Now, in Florida, tourist season starts around spring break and continues until Labor Day, at least. The tourist season here is mid-late June until mid-August. The whole island is only inhabited year-round by about 500 people - everyone else leaves at the beginning of November and comes back in the middle of May. A lot of the laborers are from the islands - like Jamaica - and live on or near the properties they work on. I posted a lot of pics on Facebook, so look there if you want to see the island. But suffice it to say, it's a little unreal.
I spent a lot of time wondering what the hell the permanent residents do the rest of the year. There are many (and a somewhat surprising number of) restaurants, shops, bars, and inns on the island. Do they make all their money for the year and then hibernate? I have no idea. The idea is kind of appealing though - work like mad for about 5 months, relax for 7. Admittedly, the relaxation is probably under a lot of snow.
I actually liked it so much that I'm going to try to go back for my 40th birthday next year. Originally, I was thinking of a very different island - maybe Jamaica again, maybe St. Croix, maybe something entirely new, like St. Martin. The last time Dave and I went on vacation was to Jamaica. I tend to gravitate toward the islands I think because they feel so remote. I relax more because it doesn't feel like anything I do in real life. That and beautiful beaches and amazing cultures. I kinda thought that if we went somewhere in the States that it would feel too normal. But Mackinac is truly another world. I liked the resort I stayed at a lot - Mission Point Resort, but I did a little checking and I think we're going to shoot for the Grand Hotel. It's been in operation since 1887. It's actually all-inclusive, which is pretty cool, and it sounds like we'll be going back to the 1920's. Like, afternoon tea, 5-course dinners, bocce ball or croquet on the lawn, and dancing to a live orchestra every evening. I think it sounds pretty amazing. Guess I'm going to have to polish my dancing shoes...
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
Facebook - Love It, Hate It, Use it.
First of all, let me say that I'm writing this post as a way to get a lot off my chest. If you think it's about you, maybe it is and maybe it isn't. It's not about attacking anything or anyone, it's just my feels at 7am and my stream of consciousness.
I was going to post about Mackinac Island, and I will, but I wanted to post about this first. Recently, one of my favorite people decided that they couldn't handle Facebook any more - too many sad stories, too much politics, etc. Some of my other friends have noticeably declined in their use as well over the years, whether that's due to privacy concerns, being careful because of jobs, or just getting tired of it. The favorite person who dropped off Facebook also recently told me that they were having more email, text, and phone calls with people, and that it was great and that Facebook wasn't missed at all. I'm really happy for the people that they are reaching out to and making the effort to keep in touch with (I'm not one of them, unless I initiate the conversation first).
Here's the thing about Facebook: love it or hate it, for me it's a way to keep in touch pretty easily. I know lots of people that are all like, "I don't give a crap what you ate for breakfast." I get it. I have friends that post about every workout, about every accomplishment that their kid has and how much earlier they did that than your kid, about the gourmet dinner that they made. I have friends with whom I heartily disagree on matters of religion and politics. But I feel connected to them. I have friends from all over the country and some in other countries. Yeah, maybe posts about breakfast or dinner are mundane, but at least I know one more thing about that person than I did before I looked at Facebook. Because let me ask you, exactly how many people really keep in touch in ways other than social media? I'm just as guilty. I call one person multiple times a week - my mom. Maybe I should reach out more in more old-fashioned ways, but I feel like I share a lot on Facebook, certainly the best parts of my days, and that goes to 90% of my friends, if they choose to look. Social media makes it feel a little bit more that relationships aren't one-sided. A little less like you're always the one initiating, or always waiting for that phone call.
I was approaching a point this summer when I thought about leaving social media. Political posts, guilting posts (you clearly don't care enough about X,Y,Z), just all the negativity got to me. But then I made a conscious effort not to get sucked in. I quit clicking on posts that I knew would only upset me. It's social media, not earth-shattering news. And my feed did change. There are some of those posts that pop up regularly, but mostly it's more updates on friends' lives, kids, pets, funny stories, and it's a happier place to be. And I do enjoy some of the stuff that pisses me off. I have some friends from high school that are very right wing, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm a flaming liberal. But I like some of their posts, and I even comment sometimes, because I enjoy a good intellectual debate sometimes. I have colleagues - people that work in the same relatively small university as me - who I feel that I know so much better because of what they post on Facebook. Maybe I should have lunch with them more often, or maybe I should go sit in their office, but honestly, time gets in the way sometimes. So I enjoy "getting to know them" in a different way.
I get sick of people blaming our breakdown of society on social media. Yeah, it can be frustrating, but I'm sure people said that when the telephone was invented that letter writing would go out the window. Communication methods change.
I guess I'll stop ranting now and get off my soapbox. I leave you with this - don't be stupid about Facebook or other social media - no drunken half naked pictures of yourself, please. But quit being so skeptical. Tell me how your day was, what's on your mind, to pray for your grandma, or just what you had for breakfast. Put on your tinfoil hat and get out there, people!
I was going to post about Mackinac Island, and I will, but I wanted to post about this first. Recently, one of my favorite people decided that they couldn't handle Facebook any more - too many sad stories, too much politics, etc. Some of my other friends have noticeably declined in their use as well over the years, whether that's due to privacy concerns, being careful because of jobs, or just getting tired of it. The favorite person who dropped off Facebook also recently told me that they were having more email, text, and phone calls with people, and that it was great and that Facebook wasn't missed at all. I'm really happy for the people that they are reaching out to and making the effort to keep in touch with (I'm not one of them, unless I initiate the conversation first).
Here's the thing about Facebook: love it or hate it, for me it's a way to keep in touch pretty easily. I know lots of people that are all like, "I don't give a crap what you ate for breakfast." I get it. I have friends that post about every workout, about every accomplishment that their kid has and how much earlier they did that than your kid, about the gourmet dinner that they made. I have friends with whom I heartily disagree on matters of religion and politics. But I feel connected to them. I have friends from all over the country and some in other countries. Yeah, maybe posts about breakfast or dinner are mundane, but at least I know one more thing about that person than I did before I looked at Facebook. Because let me ask you, exactly how many people really keep in touch in ways other than social media? I'm just as guilty. I call one person multiple times a week - my mom. Maybe I should reach out more in more old-fashioned ways, but I feel like I share a lot on Facebook, certainly the best parts of my days, and that goes to 90% of my friends, if they choose to look. Social media makes it feel a little bit more that relationships aren't one-sided. A little less like you're always the one initiating, or always waiting for that phone call.
I was approaching a point this summer when I thought about leaving social media. Political posts, guilting posts (you clearly don't care enough about X,Y,Z), just all the negativity got to me. But then I made a conscious effort not to get sucked in. I quit clicking on posts that I knew would only upset me. It's social media, not earth-shattering news. And my feed did change. There are some of those posts that pop up regularly, but mostly it's more updates on friends' lives, kids, pets, funny stories, and it's a happier place to be. And I do enjoy some of the stuff that pisses me off. I have some friends from high school that are very right wing, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm a flaming liberal. But I like some of their posts, and I even comment sometimes, because I enjoy a good intellectual debate sometimes. I have colleagues - people that work in the same relatively small university as me - who I feel that I know so much better because of what they post on Facebook. Maybe I should have lunch with them more often, or maybe I should go sit in their office, but honestly, time gets in the way sometimes. So I enjoy "getting to know them" in a different way.
I get sick of people blaming our breakdown of society on social media. Yeah, it can be frustrating, but I'm sure people said that when the telephone was invented that letter writing would go out the window. Communication methods change.
I guess I'll stop ranting now and get off my soapbox. I leave you with this - don't be stupid about Facebook or other social media - no drunken half naked pictures of yourself, please. But quit being so skeptical. Tell me how your day was, what's on your mind, to pray for your grandma, or just what you had for breakfast. Put on your tinfoil hat and get out there, people!
Sunday, September 20, 2015
One week in a capsule
This post is about the capsule wardrobe concept. I figured one week in, I'd review it and tell you what I've learned so far, and what I've liked and not liked.
The concept: You get 37 items in your capsule for 3 months, including shoes and accessories. You don't have to count underwear, workout wear, or stuff you don't leave the house in.
My version - I have around 39 pieces. It's a big transition time here in Kansas and we've had temperature spans of 40 degrees in the past week, which really sucks for trying to narrow down your options. I counted 3 sweaters in there, but in the next 3 months, I will probably have to hit my sweater stash hard. At that point, I'll put away my lighter clothes. Also, I didn't count tank tops or leggings, since I wear those under other things. And I did limit my shoes, but not my jewelry or scarves. In the strictest versions, 33 or 37 or whatever is it, including jewelry.
On cleaning out your closet: You are supposed to take out every piece of clothing and every pair of shoes out, lay it out, and sort it into donate/sell, maybe/off-season, and capsule piles.
My version: I actually did this. I have 2 large trash bags bound for Goodwill. It was actually easy, once I faced up to my packrat tendencies. One thing that drew me to this concept was the reality check that was supposed to come with it. You aren't going to wear that "someday." You bought the blouse a year ago, and you hate it, get rid of it. Someone else will love it. Stop hanging on to the shirt/jeans/shorts that haven't fit in forever. It was kinda cathartic, actually. I also liked that there was a maybe pile. I don't want to get rid of everything! I have 2 maybe piles - a summer/spring and a winter. We have seasons here, what can I say.
Things I've learned so far: I have a crap-ton of black clothing. I made fun of New Yorkers all the time when I lived there, but apparently now I dress like a native. So, right now, my options are limited. With the weather in the high 80's last week and only about 1/3 of my 39 pieces suitable for hot weather, I felt very limited. And I'm feeling like I wear the same things over and over. But this week I'm headed to MI with highs in the 60's, so I am excited to really bust out some more interesting stuff.
What it's done for me so far: It hasn't magically made me more stylish. I haven't woken up and exclaimed that I have found a whole new way to pair that shirt with those pants. It has made me realize that I have a ton of black and that I take the concept of basic tops to a whole new level. So, that's useful - the next time I go shopping, I'm going to look outside my comfort zone! Add a little color to my shirts. Maybe try a pattern - who knows? I'll be a wild woman. I do think packing for the MI trip will take me 10 minutes. It's also really made me think about shopping and what I'd buy if I did go in a much more conscientious way.
Overall: I think right now there are more plusses than minuses, but I have to say, I"m ready for the weather to cool off so I can bust out the fall shoes, the sweaters, the scarves. I'll check in when the weather changes and let you know. :) In the meantime, I will wear my black t-shirts, my black dresses, my black tanks, and embrace my inner Morticia.
The concept: You get 37 items in your capsule for 3 months, including shoes and accessories. You don't have to count underwear, workout wear, or stuff you don't leave the house in.
My version - I have around 39 pieces. It's a big transition time here in Kansas and we've had temperature spans of 40 degrees in the past week, which really sucks for trying to narrow down your options. I counted 3 sweaters in there, but in the next 3 months, I will probably have to hit my sweater stash hard. At that point, I'll put away my lighter clothes. Also, I didn't count tank tops or leggings, since I wear those under other things. And I did limit my shoes, but not my jewelry or scarves. In the strictest versions, 33 or 37 or whatever is it, including jewelry.
On cleaning out your closet: You are supposed to take out every piece of clothing and every pair of shoes out, lay it out, and sort it into donate/sell, maybe/off-season, and capsule piles.
My version: I actually did this. I have 2 large trash bags bound for Goodwill. It was actually easy, once I faced up to my packrat tendencies. One thing that drew me to this concept was the reality check that was supposed to come with it. You aren't going to wear that "someday." You bought the blouse a year ago, and you hate it, get rid of it. Someone else will love it. Stop hanging on to the shirt/jeans/shorts that haven't fit in forever. It was kinda cathartic, actually. I also liked that there was a maybe pile. I don't want to get rid of everything! I have 2 maybe piles - a summer/spring and a winter. We have seasons here, what can I say.
Things I've learned so far: I have a crap-ton of black clothing. I made fun of New Yorkers all the time when I lived there, but apparently now I dress like a native. So, right now, my options are limited. With the weather in the high 80's last week and only about 1/3 of my 39 pieces suitable for hot weather, I felt very limited. And I'm feeling like I wear the same things over and over. But this week I'm headed to MI with highs in the 60's, so I am excited to really bust out some more interesting stuff.
What it's done for me so far: It hasn't magically made me more stylish. I haven't woken up and exclaimed that I have found a whole new way to pair that shirt with those pants. It has made me realize that I have a ton of black and that I take the concept of basic tops to a whole new level. So, that's useful - the next time I go shopping, I'm going to look outside my comfort zone! Add a little color to my shirts. Maybe try a pattern - who knows? I'll be a wild woman. I do think packing for the MI trip will take me 10 minutes. It's also really made me think about shopping and what I'd buy if I did go in a much more conscientious way.
Overall: I think right now there are more plusses than minuses, but I have to say, I"m ready for the weather to cool off so I can bust out the fall shoes, the sweaters, the scarves. I'll check in when the weather changes and let you know. :) In the meantime, I will wear my black t-shirts, my black dresses, my black tanks, and embrace my inner Morticia.
Sunday, September 6, 2015
New Projects and 337
Dave and I have owned 4 houses together. Out of all of them, this is the one that feels permanent. Like we'll be here in 5 years, or 10, or 40. The last house was amazing and we loved it, but it started to feel small pretty soon after we had Ian (tiny person = so.much.stuff. Our houses in Alabama always felt temporary - probably because I was in grad school for most of living in them and we didn't know where the next move would take us. But this house is big, it's old, it has character, and it's in a great neighborhood. And we have no plans to move, have more kids, buy a combine (Ian wanted one last year and said we could keep it in the back yard), or get a pony. So we are working on the house, not with the intention of sprucing it up to sell, but for us. Oh, and we're doing the floors because our dogs are jerks and some of them mark in the spots that Shelby and Dolly had accidents.
So this weekend we tackled the dining room. I'm assuming the only people who read this blog are also my friends on FB, so you can see pics there, but needless to say, I'm pretty thrilled and proud of us!! Out of the 3 houses we've lived in with hardwood floors, these are the nicest by far. I can't wait to tackle the living room and sunroom. One room a weekend, though. :)
My other project is my closet and wardrobe. I'm going to simplify a little bit and become a nudist. Just kidding - ain't nobody want to see that. I'm going to try building a Capsule Wardrobe. I got the idea from a blog I read. Here's a great blog about it The 333 Project. There are slight variations - the blog I was first reading about it on uses 37 pieces of clothing. So you dump your whole wardrobe on your bed and sort it into "Love", "Maybe", and "Donate" piles. The love pile is stuff that you absolutely love, fits well, and is in good shape. If something is in the love pile, but is worn out, you can replace it. The maybe pile is stuff that you're not sure you want to get rid of - off-season clothing, sentimental stuff, things that you think you might wear again, and then the donate pile is stuff that you won't miss and don't wear.
So, for a 3 month period of time, you get to choose 33 (or 37) pieces. That includes shoes, and accessories. It is supposed to include jewelry (not sure if I can do that - might have to ease into that one)! It doesn't include workout clothes (that you only work out in), at-home loungewear, sleepwear, and socks and underwear. The concept behind is that most of us own so much that we have a hard time deciding what to wear and that having fewer pieces that all go together will make us more creative, stylish, and less consumed with having stuff. If you know me AT ALL, you know that I'm not a minimalist. I'm not a hoarder, but I am a firm believer in "someday, sometime" when I will certainly need that item I gave to Goodwill or sold at a yard sale. I am going to try this because a) I can still keep stuff - I just get it out of sight for awhile to see if I truly want it b) I am horrible about keeping stuff that doesn't quite fit, but almost fits, or I really hate the way that it fits but I can't give it away because I haven't worn it to death and c) I kind of am trying to figure out my own style when it comes to clothing. I'm in a job where the only requirement is that I come to work clothed. It's great and not great because there's so much freedom. I also like this idea because it works for people who live in a schizophrenic, multi-season climate. I was told when I moved here, "If you don't like the weather, wait 5 minutes." And it's so true. Mom and I were just talking about how warm October was last year - right up until Halloween night where Ian had to trick-or-treat wearing snow pants under his costume. Right now is a transition time - it's blistering hot this weekend - might snow in two weeks. So I like that I will choose a few transitional pieces for my capsule for the next 3 months, and if I goof up, I just go to the attic and trade some stuff out.
I'll update later on what I choose. I haven't gone through the wardrobe yet. I have been thinking a lot about investing more into my wardrobe and spending more for quality as I replace things. For instance, I normally shop at Target and Old Navy. Nothing wrong with that, but I shop there sometimes purely because they're cheap. For things like jeans, I think I'm going to try a custom online service. For $30-40 at ON, I can get jeans that mostly, sorta fit. For $60, I can get jeans that are custom made for me. Pretty cool. But I'll still shop at the cheap places - I've gotten some great stuff there too, like my go-to LBD that really can be worn to work or a wedding. We'll see how it goes. :)
So that's just a little bit of what I've been up to this weekend. I hope you're having a great Labor Day weekend, whether that involves a BBQ or scrubbing floors.
So this weekend we tackled the dining room. I'm assuming the only people who read this blog are also my friends on FB, so you can see pics there, but needless to say, I'm pretty thrilled and proud of us!! Out of the 3 houses we've lived in with hardwood floors, these are the nicest by far. I can't wait to tackle the living room and sunroom. One room a weekend, though. :)
My other project is my closet and wardrobe. I'm going to simplify a little bit and become a nudist. Just kidding - ain't nobody want to see that. I'm going to try building a Capsule Wardrobe. I got the idea from a blog I read. Here's a great blog about it The 333 Project. There are slight variations - the blog I was first reading about it on uses 37 pieces of clothing. So you dump your whole wardrobe on your bed and sort it into "Love", "Maybe", and "Donate" piles. The love pile is stuff that you absolutely love, fits well, and is in good shape. If something is in the love pile, but is worn out, you can replace it. The maybe pile is stuff that you're not sure you want to get rid of - off-season clothing, sentimental stuff, things that you think you might wear again, and then the donate pile is stuff that you won't miss and don't wear.
So, for a 3 month period of time, you get to choose 33 (or 37) pieces. That includes shoes, and accessories. It is supposed to include jewelry (not sure if I can do that - might have to ease into that one)! It doesn't include workout clothes (that you only work out in), at-home loungewear, sleepwear, and socks and underwear. The concept behind is that most of us own so much that we have a hard time deciding what to wear and that having fewer pieces that all go together will make us more creative, stylish, and less consumed with having stuff. If you know me AT ALL, you know that I'm not a minimalist. I'm not a hoarder, but I am a firm believer in "someday, sometime" when I will certainly need that item I gave to Goodwill or sold at a yard sale. I am going to try this because a) I can still keep stuff - I just get it out of sight for awhile to see if I truly want it b) I am horrible about keeping stuff that doesn't quite fit, but almost fits, or I really hate the way that it fits but I can't give it away because I haven't worn it to death and c) I kind of am trying to figure out my own style when it comes to clothing. I'm in a job where the only requirement is that I come to work clothed. It's great and not great because there's so much freedom. I also like this idea because it works for people who live in a schizophrenic, multi-season climate. I was told when I moved here, "If you don't like the weather, wait 5 minutes." And it's so true. Mom and I were just talking about how warm October was last year - right up until Halloween night where Ian had to trick-or-treat wearing snow pants under his costume. Right now is a transition time - it's blistering hot this weekend - might snow in two weeks. So I like that I will choose a few transitional pieces for my capsule for the next 3 months, and if I goof up, I just go to the attic and trade some stuff out.
I'll update later on what I choose. I haven't gone through the wardrobe yet. I have been thinking a lot about investing more into my wardrobe and spending more for quality as I replace things. For instance, I normally shop at Target and Old Navy. Nothing wrong with that, but I shop there sometimes purely because they're cheap. For things like jeans, I think I'm going to try a custom online service. For $30-40 at ON, I can get jeans that mostly, sorta fit. For $60, I can get jeans that are custom made for me. Pretty cool. But I'll still shop at the cheap places - I've gotten some great stuff there too, like my go-to LBD that really can be worn to work or a wedding. We'll see how it goes. :)
So that's just a little bit of what I've been up to this weekend. I hope you're having a great Labor Day weekend, whether that involves a BBQ or scrubbing floors.
Monday, August 31, 2015
Happy Stuff
So, project Stress Less is back on track. After Tuesday's pity party, I did get released from my Tuesday class so that I had more time to focus on next semester's new courses and the MSFS program in general. I felt so relieved, like a huge weight was lifted. Tomorrow that will be implemented, and I have big plans. A big to-do list to tackle, and my first crime scene to plan. But more importantly, 7.5 glorious hours to work with few interruptions. Woot! I will get my Mamas and Papas station going on Pandora (guaranteed student repellent) and jam out with my incense lit.
I have found an awesome website - Elephant Journal. This site is a hippie, thought-provoking, uplifting site. It is reader generated - anyone can submit to it. It has a wide variety of articles on everything from food (I have to admit, I haven't been tempted by a recipe yet, but there are interesting perspectives on food), spirituality, yoga, wellness, etc. There's even a "funny" category that has some pretty hilarious articles. The site lets you read 3 articles for free, then it asks you to subscribe, which I did. It's $13 a year. I liked it so much I bought my sister-in-law a subscription for her birthday. I've done a pretty good job in the last few weeks about not getting sucked into all the negative social media - this site is my antidote. I see lots of different (admittedly, many of them liberal) perspectives on a lot of different things. Anyway, it's like mind sweet potatoes - good and good for you.
I can't wait to go camping. Admittedly, I am nervous about the weather. It's supposed to get up to 90, which means I might need to either spend a lot of time floating in the lake or in the car with the a/c turned on. But the night temps look good and I can't wait. This is also the first time we've been camping for longer than overnight. I told Ian we needed to think about supplies and his immediate answer was "chocolate, and marshmallows, and graham crackers!" I like the way this kid thinks! It's hot this week, but I think fall weather is just around the corner. I know I'll get sick of my cool weather clothes, but right now I can't wait for sweaters, scarves, pumpkins, Halloween, and a nip in the air.
Yesterday, I got to meet some new friends. A young lady who was just diagnosed with T1D and her mother. It was great to meet them and I tried to give them good advice. I told them about calling the mailbox Shelby after lasering, because, let's face it, that story never gets old. I hope it was a positive experience for them. I'm sure that right now everything is all new and I can't imagine how confusing. It's funny, I did a lot of thinking and reflecting in preparation for our meeting - what would I want to know 31 years ago? Technology has changed SO MUCH for the better. But you know what? I spent some time thinking about whether I wish I'd never gotten diabetes or whether I'd ever spent a lot of time asking God why me. I don't think I've ever spent any significant amount of time doing that. I told them that having diabetes has not been the focus of my whole life (nor should it be - there's so much more to do out there than obsess over a disease), but I feel like it's part of what's made me who I am. I appreciate life. So much. I appreciate having my son. I appreciate my kidneys, and my sight, and things that I don't think I would appreciate as much otherwise. I don't remember what it was like to not have this. I have AMAZING parents who let me have a very normal childhood (and special time with mom when I had a doc appointment). I have learned how to be an advocate for myself in ways I doubt I would have done without this disease. There were times in my life when I tried really hard to forget it. But now that I'm an adult, I appreciate it. Anyway, I hope that their journey is smooth and we develop a strong friendship. They are really neat people.
This blog post isn't horribly cohesive tonight. I had a lot of thoughts rolling around in my head that I wanted to share. Hopefully everyone who reads has their own list of "happy stuff." If you're a bleeding heart liberal who is a wanna-be hippie, try Elephant Journal. Or light some incense and get a 60's station going on Pandora. Either way, peace, man. :)
I have found an awesome website - Elephant Journal. This site is a hippie, thought-provoking, uplifting site. It is reader generated - anyone can submit to it. It has a wide variety of articles on everything from food (I have to admit, I haven't been tempted by a recipe yet, but there are interesting perspectives on food), spirituality, yoga, wellness, etc. There's even a "funny" category that has some pretty hilarious articles. The site lets you read 3 articles for free, then it asks you to subscribe, which I did. It's $13 a year. I liked it so much I bought my sister-in-law a subscription for her birthday. I've done a pretty good job in the last few weeks about not getting sucked into all the negative social media - this site is my antidote. I see lots of different (admittedly, many of them liberal) perspectives on a lot of different things. Anyway, it's like mind sweet potatoes - good and good for you.
I can't wait to go camping. Admittedly, I am nervous about the weather. It's supposed to get up to 90, which means I might need to either spend a lot of time floating in the lake or in the car with the a/c turned on. But the night temps look good and I can't wait. This is also the first time we've been camping for longer than overnight. I told Ian we needed to think about supplies and his immediate answer was "chocolate, and marshmallows, and graham crackers!" I like the way this kid thinks! It's hot this week, but I think fall weather is just around the corner. I know I'll get sick of my cool weather clothes, but right now I can't wait for sweaters, scarves, pumpkins, Halloween, and a nip in the air.
Yesterday, I got to meet some new friends. A young lady who was just diagnosed with T1D and her mother. It was great to meet them and I tried to give them good advice. I told them about calling the mailbox Shelby after lasering, because, let's face it, that story never gets old. I hope it was a positive experience for them. I'm sure that right now everything is all new and I can't imagine how confusing. It's funny, I did a lot of thinking and reflecting in preparation for our meeting - what would I want to know 31 years ago? Technology has changed SO MUCH for the better. But you know what? I spent some time thinking about whether I wish I'd never gotten diabetes or whether I'd ever spent a lot of time asking God why me. I don't think I've ever spent any significant amount of time doing that. I told them that having diabetes has not been the focus of my whole life (nor should it be - there's so much more to do out there than obsess over a disease), but I feel like it's part of what's made me who I am. I appreciate life. So much. I appreciate having my son. I appreciate my kidneys, and my sight, and things that I don't think I would appreciate as much otherwise. I don't remember what it was like to not have this. I have AMAZING parents who let me have a very normal childhood (and special time with mom when I had a doc appointment). I have learned how to be an advocate for myself in ways I doubt I would have done without this disease. There were times in my life when I tried really hard to forget it. But now that I'm an adult, I appreciate it. Anyway, I hope that their journey is smooth and we develop a strong friendship. They are really neat people.
This blog post isn't horribly cohesive tonight. I had a lot of thoughts rolling around in my head that I wanted to share. Hopefully everyone who reads has their own list of "happy stuff." If you're a bleeding heart liberal who is a wanna-be hippie, try Elephant Journal. Or light some incense and get a 60's station going on Pandora. Either way, peace, man. :)
Tuesday, August 25, 2015
Holy cow, it's only Tuesday
Today was one of those days when I realized that a little preparation goes a long way. Like, do the laundry, fold it, and put it away. We're great at the first two, not so great at the last one, so I spent 30 minutes this morning frantically tearing the house apart looking for Ian's khaki uniform shorts (because he HAAAD to wear the blue polo, not red, not white). I was just about to choose between non-regulation cargo shorts and his underwear, all the while thinking about enrolling him in public school so he could wear whatever the hell I could find easily in his room, when I found those stupid shorts. I get downstairs to make his lunch and realize that his cold pack never made it into the fridge. I improvise and put a whole bag of frozen broccoli in his lunchbox. I made him a wrap and I wrapped it in tinfoil, which later I found out was a tactical error - he didn't know what it was, didn't open it, and therefore all he ate for lunch was a few cheez-its and some cheese cubes and nuts. He thought I forgot to make him a sandwich. And so the rest of the day went. Nothing horrible, nothing earth-shattering, just a feeling like I was on the verge of panic and 3 steps behind. I recognized the feeling - it's how I felt all year last year.
Now, at this point, you might realize I'm whining. Pity party of 1. There are starving people in the world, cops being shot at, racism alive and well and running for president. My morning was nothing. My day was nothing. And I'm probably going to have to reset my complaint counter. Oh well. I learned something, which is why I'm writing. I. ASKED. FOR. HELP. I have a student who could teach my A&P lab on Tuesdays. One uninterrupted day (8-Senate at 3:30) could mean that I'd have one day a week to get a lot done. I'd still teach on Thursdays. I actually asked for that. We'll see what the chair and the lab coordinator say - the student was fine with it.
Now, all this enlightenment didn't happen fast. I came home in a rotten mood. I wasn't angry, I wasn't happy, I wasn't sad - I was stressed. I scanned Facebook and saw tons of like and share posts about kids with cancer, dead military, and other such chipper topics that should have made me feel like a horrible human being for not being the happiest person on the planet. And all day, I'd been thinking about asking for that time reassignment and talking myself out of it. That I should suck it up. It wasn't that bad. This is just a bad week - I have 2 parts of an article and 2 reviews due this week. But tonight, I sent that email. So we'll see about the outcome, but I'm happy that I recognized what was going on. And finally realized that I'm not superwoman and that I'm done trying to be.
So tonight we folded laundry. We even separated his uniforms from his regular clothes. He is buying his lunch tomorrow because they are serving spaghetti and he's been looking forward to it all week. And I am going to bed and I will read the 4 court cases I'm discussing tomorrow afternoon tomorrow morning, along with the other stuff on my to-do list. Tonight I'm going to meditate, shut off my brain, and go to sleep. And while I'm meditating, I'm going to be grateful. Grateful that I have a husband who didn't know Ashley Madison existed. For a son. For being able to have the luxury of choosing between private school and public school, even if it does mean uniforms. And for my biggest work problems revolving around fitting stuff in and not dealing with discrimination, or hateful coworkers, or a micromanaging boss. And I'll go to bed kinda proud, that I asked for help because I would rather admit that I can't do it all well than feel like I'm disappointing everyone all of the time trying to do it all.
Now, at this point, you might realize I'm whining. Pity party of 1. There are starving people in the world, cops being shot at, racism alive and well and running for president. My morning was nothing. My day was nothing. And I'm probably going to have to reset my complaint counter. Oh well. I learned something, which is why I'm writing. I. ASKED. FOR. HELP. I have a student who could teach my A&P lab on Tuesdays. One uninterrupted day (8-Senate at 3:30) could mean that I'd have one day a week to get a lot done. I'd still teach on Thursdays. I actually asked for that. We'll see what the chair and the lab coordinator say - the student was fine with it.
Now, all this enlightenment didn't happen fast. I came home in a rotten mood. I wasn't angry, I wasn't happy, I wasn't sad - I was stressed. I scanned Facebook and saw tons of like and share posts about kids with cancer, dead military, and other such chipper topics that should have made me feel like a horrible human being for not being the happiest person on the planet. And all day, I'd been thinking about asking for that time reassignment and talking myself out of it. That I should suck it up. It wasn't that bad. This is just a bad week - I have 2 parts of an article and 2 reviews due this week. But tonight, I sent that email. So we'll see about the outcome, but I'm happy that I recognized what was going on. And finally realized that I'm not superwoman and that I'm done trying to be.
So tonight we folded laundry. We even separated his uniforms from his regular clothes. He is buying his lunch tomorrow because they are serving spaghetti and he's been looking forward to it all week. And I am going to bed and I will read the 4 court cases I'm discussing tomorrow afternoon tomorrow morning, along with the other stuff on my to-do list. Tonight I'm going to meditate, shut off my brain, and go to sleep. And while I'm meditating, I'm going to be grateful. Grateful that I have a husband who didn't know Ashley Madison existed. For a son. For being able to have the luxury of choosing between private school and public school, even if it does mean uniforms. And for my biggest work problems revolving around fitting stuff in and not dealing with discrimination, or hateful coworkers, or a micromanaging boss. And I'll go to bed kinda proud, that I asked for help because I would rather admit that I can't do it all well than feel like I'm disappointing everyone all of the time trying to do it all.
Saturday, August 22, 2015
One Week Down
Wow - what a week! Dave started his second week of the new year, I started my first week, and Ian started kindergarten!
If you recall or read last week's post, I said that this year I would keep my sanity. After I posted that, I looked back through the blog and realized that I have written something similar every August that the blog has been in existence. And for a second, the negativity started - why was this year going to be any different? You say the same thing every year - less stress, more enjoyment, blah, blah, blah. You'll be a fruitcake by October like you always are. And then, I told myself to SHUT UP. This year will be different. It takes hitting rock bottom to realize that you have choices about certain things. And this year, I will keep that promise to myself and my family to choose sanity. To choose balance. I think part of what will remind me to do that is to check in weekly. Maybe here, maybe just in my head, but changing some pretty ingrained habits is hard, even when it's for the better. Work and taking on too much and stress is as addictive as alcohol or gambling in the academic world. It's such a badge of honor in this industry (and many others) to be able to brag about how much you work. So, like a recovering heroin addict, I'm still on methadone and I need to check in with my sponsor every once in awhile.. :) Anyway...enough rambling.
IAN STARTED KINDERGARTEN!
If you recall or read last week's post, I said that this year I would keep my sanity. After I posted that, I looked back through the blog and realized that I have written something similar every August that the blog has been in existence. And for a second, the negativity started - why was this year going to be any different? You say the same thing every year - less stress, more enjoyment, blah, blah, blah. You'll be a fruitcake by October like you always are. And then, I told myself to SHUT UP. This year will be different. It takes hitting rock bottom to realize that you have choices about certain things. And this year, I will keep that promise to myself and my family to choose sanity. To choose balance. I think part of what will remind me to do that is to check in weekly. Maybe here, maybe just in my head, but changing some pretty ingrained habits is hard, even when it's for the better. Work and taking on too much and stress is as addictive as alcohol or gambling in the academic world. It's such a badge of honor in this industry (and many others) to be able to brag about how much you work. So, like a recovering heroin addict, I'm still on methadone and I need to check in with my sponsor every once in awhile.. :) Anyway...enough rambling.
IAN STARTED KINDERGARTEN!
He was so excited. I was excited for him. I thought about him all day - was he having fun? Was he paying attention? Did he like his classmates? Did he like his teacher? Could he tuck his shirt in after using the bathroom (we need to practice that one more)? I think most parents have a "favorite age" and I have realized that the older he gets, the more I like parenting. And this is a really fun age. So was 4, and 3 wasn't too bad. But 5 is FUN. We have the best conversations, he's really into Halloween and is already coming up with ways to make our house "smookier" and has already decided on costumes for himself, me (a mummy), and Dave (Frankenstein). He has the best imagination and sense of humor and he's genuinely my little buddy. We still have our moments (and it's like arguing with myself in a mirror - he's got the same stubborn personality that I do). I've also finally stopped being jealous of bigger families. A wise friend who has been in the same situation we were in (a second pregnancy wasn't possible for medical reasons) said once that the anger and loss that you feel in that situation isn't as much about not being able to have another child (though that's part of it), but it's that the choice was taken away from you. Very, very true. But I think that I've finally accepted that our little family is just what was intended. Maybe we'll adopt later, maybe we won't. Right now, I'm happy and appreciative of what we have. But so far, kindergarten is going well. Mommy just needs to realize that he will have homework (oops) and we'll be fine. So awesome when you don't have your homework on the third day of school and your parents are teachers. Sorry, Mrs. G!
The MSFS program has officially started, and we have a fantastic group of students. I really couldn't be happier with our inaugural class. This is definitely an area where it's easy to get overwhelmed, and where I went wrong last year. Recruiting, marketing, thinking about the next class, the budget, the curriculum, possible electives, exit exams, research projects. I get hives if I think about it in totality. So I don't. I have started keeping a good old-fashioned notepad by my desk and whenever I think about things I need to take care of, I write it down. I think a lot of my stress and anxiety last year was a constant fear that I was forgetting something. I still have that fear, but it's not as bad now. Because, nobody has ever died from an academic emergency. So, one week in, no one's quit, and I haven't cried once - we're good! :)
I've been meditating every night before I go to bed. I belong to myyogaonline.com and it's great. I have never seriously meditated and used visualization before, but I'll tell you what, I think it helps. I am sleeping better and wake up calmer. I've been working through some blood sugar issues lately, so I haven't started back to yoga or swimming yet, but that is the next step. Now, as for my no-complaints challenge, I'm back on day 3. I had to restart on Wednesday because I went to a friend's office and flat out complained after a faculty meeting. It was one of those situations where I knew I couldn't hold it in, so I might as well let it all out and restart. But I'd made it 4 days before that, and it has been interesting. If you acknowledge a negative feeling and even if you say it out loud in a non-complaining way, it really does force you to look at why you feel that way, which is actually useful. I have felt more positive this week than I did any of last year, and even when I'm not radiating happiness and sunshine, acknowledging how I really feel and looking at why I feel that way instead of whining is pretty good.
I'm also super excited. For the first time since my first year here, Dave and I are taking Labor Day weekend off! Yes, that's right, we are going to have fun, and to actually enjoy the holiday! We are going camping. We have a reservation, the housesitter is booked, and in two weeks we will be canoeing, making campfires, roasting marshmallows, and pretending we're homeless. It's going to be awesome! I'm still trying to get Dave to bring our hammock and stand, but he says it won't fit in the car with all of the other crap we take. I say, he teaches physics - figure it out. We'll see who wins. But either way, I'm super excited.
I think that recaps the week. So far, so good. I'm going to remember that Ian has homework, not to stress too much, and not to make cauliflower chowder - that was a bad idea. Live and learn. :)
Sunday, August 16, 2015
New Year, New Attitude
Bitter. Used. Exhausted. Spent. Underpaid. Negative.
Not pretty words. Not pretty feelings, but that's how I felt in May of last year. I had just spent an academic year working, on average, 60-80 hour workweeks. For a period of 9 months, family time was relegated to that time when I wasn't working. Now, all this work had a purpose. I was on 5 search committees for new faculty. I think those are important choices, and I was happy that I was able to have a strong voice in choosing future colleagues. I was recruiting, marketing, and organizing the forensic science program. I'd say that's pretty important. I taught my students and did research, which is the core of my job, the thing that I'm paid to do. And I got accolades and kudos. And pats on the back. But was I happy? Not exactly.
I was happy at home. My husband was working like a demon too, being a first year chem and physics teacher. But he loves his job, and after a long struggle to find his work home, I was thrilled, even if it meant long hours. Ian is a joy. He's funny, sarcastic, and articulate. He's not perfect (who is?), but he's pretty dang fun to be around.
So, all of last year, I felt like there were two mes. Work me, mom and wife me. But there was no ME me. I didn't take care of myself mentally. I don't like to be a Debbie Downer, so I internalized a lot of my stress. And what did that get me? Gastritis. Insomnia. Stress eating. Drinking enough caffeine to kill a horse to do more work (ok, maybe a teeny exaggeration). I stopped going to church almost all together. I avoided calling my mom and my long distance friends because I didn't want the conversation to be a litany of complaints. And yeah, I accomplished a lot, but at what cost?
I have decided things need to change. I need a new mantra. And my new mantra is, "Nobody has EVER died from an academic emergency." My students and my work will get a lot of attention - in a healthy, sane way. Not in a soul-sucking way. If I'm a happier, more balanced person, then I will focus better at work and be a better worker. Will my responsibilities at work lessen this year? Probably not. Will I care about my work any less? Probably not. What I can and will change, is my attitude and how I react. So, it's easy to say "I'll change," but I'm a person who needs a plan. This is my plan:
- If it's not my circus and not my monkeys, let it go. I cared WAY too much about other people's business (both at work and not) and things at work that I couldn't change. Way too much mental energy wasted there. No more.
- Don't complain. It's so easy to bitch. And it feels good in the moment - to vent all of your frustrations to a sympathetic ear (especially over alcohol), but it was rarely cathartic. Most of the time, I felt more hopeless afterward than when I started.
- I matter too. My first priorities will always be my family and my career (in that order), but I need to matter to me. I'm going back to church. I'm starting to meditate. I will do exercise that makes me happy (yoga and swimming) and not give a crap about how many 5ks or half marathons my friends can run, except to be happy for them that they can do that.
- Focus at work. Email will stop being obsessed over - I am turning off my notifications and checking it 3 times a day. Work on one task at a time. Last year I did not know how and couldn't focus. I went to a conference this year that called a new ADD drug "the professor's best friend." AND I WAS SITTING THERE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET SOME! That's ridiculous. I don't have ADD - I just need to focus.
- Be in the moment. Applies to home and work. I'm tired of multitasking. When Ian asks me to color with him, that's what I'm going to do. Not color and mentally plan tomorrow. Not color and fret about how much I need to do after he goes to bed. I'm going to color (badly) with my kid.
- Keep focusing on the positive. I do this a lot anyway, but I'm adding something else - no complaining. I can observe something, I can feel the feelings, but no more needless criticism and whining.
So that's it. I don't know that this process will be easy, but I am sure that I will be a more productive and far happier person for it. And I'm putting my plan out there, because I want people to hold me accountable. If I'm complaining all the time, call me on it. If I withdraw from everybody, call me on it. If you see me at work at 5am on a Saturday, ask me why I'm there (and then I'll ask you why you're there) and what is more important that breakfast with my family on a Saturday. Oh yeah, and I'm going to try to start blogging again. Read it, don't read it. Honestly, this blog is not really about writing for other people - it's my stream of consciousness that happens to be on the internets.
Here's to a happier, healthier new year.
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